Mai Time
by Egypts
Summary: Mai spends some quality time with herself when sent to the shadow realm and goes mad. Yaoi Implied. This is what they didn't show you on TV. Sad, failed attempt at humorinsanity.


**Mai Time**

By Egypts.

_Summary: Mai spends some quality time with herself when sent to the shadow realm and turns mad. Yaoi Implied. This is what they didn't show you on TV._  
  
Mai Time is also the name of a maori program over here in NZ. I have no idea what it's about but it looks dumb as. Just like this fic ;D Now read it!

Disclaimers: I don't own YuGiOh or 'My Band'. Sad!

* * *

"Noooo!", Mai screamed as Marik stood over her, laughing manically as he brandished the millenium rod, practically squashed the strange instrument into her pretty face.  
  
"Next stop, the shadow realm!", he laughed. Or did he? Mai couldn't be sure. All she could hear was her own mind screaming bloody murder.  
  
Then it was completely dark and an eerie silence fulled the cool air atop Kaiba's blimp. Even her own silent screams had come to a stop.  
  
Then..  
  
"Hahahaha!", laughed Yugi and Joey as they raced across the sandy beach into the cool water. It was a beautiful summers day. Tristan and Duke were already in the water, giggling like schoolgirls as they playfully splashed one another.  
  
It was then that Mai came aware that she sitting sitting in a strange hour- glass, golden, glittering sand alike the sand on the beach far below, fell upon her crown of beautiful, blonde locks. She growled dangerously.  
  
"Muahahaha!", Marik bellowed and she suddenly realised he had been saying something although she wasn't sure what. Whatever it was, it couldn't have been good. Then he disapeared.  
  
She screamed, pounding on the glass melodramatically, shaking her head this way and that.

* * *

After about ten minutes of doing this, her vocals tired and she gave up, deciding to settle on placing her hands atop the glass and staring helplessly out, her mouth a perfect 'o' shape. Secretly, she didn't find this form of torture all too bad. Afterall, she got to get a glimpse of Joey's barechest, even if it was only part of her _very_ vivid imagination, didn't she?  
  
She continued watching, eyeing Tea, who wore a limegreen bikieni that showed off _everything_.  
  
Mai scrunched her face up. Yes, a _very_ vivid imagination indeed!  
  
Mai moaned. This glass was killing her! Her back ached and she was feeling abit nausy and hungry. She felt as if she was going crazy, and most likely she was.  
  
"I wonder what Kaiba's bare chest would look like..", she randomly thought aloud, lifting a manicured finger to her chin while she thought. She gazed through the clear glass and was surprised to see Seto Kaiba, Serenity, Ryou Bakura, Yami Bakura and Yami Yugi joining the small group on the beach.  
  
"Oh my..", she said, her gaze lingering on Seto Kaiba's chest as she licked her lips.  
  
Dream Seto suddenly looked up, staring directly at her and she could clearly see his mouth form the word 'pervert'. Her eyes widened considerably.  
  
She had a sudden idea. She grinned manically, a smirk that could mirror Yami Mariks. She closed her eyes a moment, dreaming up a small fantasy in her strange, demented mind. When she reopened her eyes, Joey Wheeler and Seto Kaiba were locked in a passionate kiss. She giggled hysterically.  
  
Oh, this was fun!

* * *

For the next hour or two, she entertained herself by pairing everyone up. By now, Mai Valentine was a rabid yaoi fangirl.  
  
"Yami and Yugi, Bakura and Ryou, Seto and Joey, Duke and Tristan..", her gaze lingered on Serenity and Tea. Should she?  
  
Before she could embarrass herself any further, Marik appeared, apparently about to pass on a message although the moment he caught sight of the image on the beach, he shrieked and disappeared. Mai shrugged. She was quite enjoying her quality 'Mai Time'.  
  
She glanced down at her dream boys making out on the beach and giggled ecastically, rubbing her hands together deviously. It was official. Mai had gone mad.  
  
Examining her surroundings more closely, Mai discovered her triangular prison was more than half full! At this rate, she was sure to drown or rather, suffocate!  
  
Maybe it was the insanity that influenced her next movement. Or it could have just been the fact that she was plain hungry! Whatever the reason was, it was quite strange to find Mai spooning the golden sand into her pretty mouth.  
  
"Mmm, this is delicious!", Mai cried, delightedly, violet hued eyes shining with delight.  
  
Two more hours later, Mai had nearly ate half the tank's contents. Luckily for her, she hadn't gained a stone. Afterall, this was just a mirror image in the shadow realm of her, right?  
  
She shrugged. This 'shadow realm' wasn't too bad. Hot guys, great food that she could eat without gaining a thing.. Mai was in heaven!  
  
Mai idly, rubbed the sand between her hands. It stuck together quite nicely, which gave her quite a good idea...  
  
"Sand Castle!", she squealed, clasping her hands together and silently praising her intelligence.  
  
She got to work on her masterpiece.

* * *

Seven hours, twenty-six minutes later, Mai sat back to admire her masterpiece.  
  
To the untrained eye, this.. 'masterpiece' of Mai's would look just like a lump of sand that had fallen through a small hole. That was precisely what it was.  
  
Mai giggled hysterically, clutching her stomach as she rolled about in her cavern, tears of mirth rolling down her cheeks, staining her flattened castle.  
  
Upon realising what she had just done, the tears of joy turned into tears of grief as she mourned over her loss.  
  
"I feel so alone!", young Mai cried out, banging her fists against the glass of her imprisonment.  
  
She sniffled, curling into a ball and rocking back and forth as she sang a song that was strangely comforting to her, and she sang..  
  
"_These chicks don't even know the name of my band... But they're all on me like they wanna hold hands... Cuz once I blow they know that I'll be the man... All because I'm the lead singer of my band_..." She giggled silently and fell to sleep.

* * *

Mai sat up suddenly, hitting her head against the roof of her prison.  
  
"Ow!", she screamed, frustrated and continued screaming when she realised she was still there.  
  
Her anguished screams soon turned into delirious giggles,"I went to sleep when I already was asleep!", she screeched to the walls, pounding them for emphasis,"Hell, I crack myself up!"  
  
She opened her mouth wider, leaning back and catching the sand in her mouth for breakfast. It was then that she realised the sand had settled around her shoulders.  
  
"Aww, man!", she said lamely, pounding the walls again. They creeked as if ready to break and she gulped. Maybe she'd bang it down later. But at the moment, she had a great idea!  
  
Spitting the grains of sand into her hands, Mai attempted to make a blockage in the hole that joined the top of the hour glass to the bottom. Naturally, she failed as the sand was not cement and just fell out. It was then that she noticed something incredibly odd..  
  
There was an oompa loompa in the top of the hour glass!  
  
"OH MY GOD!", Mai screamed, jumping to her feet which proved not to be so clever, mainly because she was in a enclosed area, also because at that moment, the orange-faced, green-haired midget was trying to grab a sufficient amount of her hair.  
  
"LET GO OF ME!", Mai screamed, turning her head and attempted to gnaw off the offending hand.  
  
The oompa loompa let go and started shrieking in such a high pitched voice, Mai lost her hearing temporarily.  
  
"Enough! Enough! Enough!", Mai cried as the sand began increasing rapidly. Before she knew it, it was covering her mouth and nose.. she couldn't breath.. she couldn't remember a thing..  
  
"No.. no..", she whimpered before slipping into unconsciousness.

* * *

"Mai.. Mai.. wake up!", Mai mumbled incoherantly at Joey shook her awake.  
  
"J-Joey?", Mai asked sleepily, her vision clearing.  
  
Joey held her shoulders, shaking her like crazy while Yugi, Duke and Tristan tried to restrain him. Tea, Bakura and Serenity gazed fondly at her from her bedside. Seto Kaiba, Mokuba, Ishizu Ishtar and Malik stood behind them, watching uninterestedly.  
  
"Let the poor girl go, Wheeler. She's awake", Kaiba barked gruffly.  
  
Joey grinned apologetically at Mai and stepped back and Mai was sure she saw Joey wink at Kaiba.  
  
"Welcome back!", Yugi chirped, although he had that vacant expression he use when talking to his other half.  
  
A number of welcomes and hellos were exchanged, Mai blushing as everyone spoke to her as she remembered the beach incident.  
  
"Sorry to break up your reunion, but Battle City is over so get off my blimp!", Kaiba ordered, glaring at the group of friends.  
  
Mai stood up, trembling as she slipped on her boots and edged to the door.  
  
She was only relieved they hadn't witnessed what she had..  
  
"Pervert", Kaiba whispered in her ear as he and Joey walked past, hand in hand..

* * *

..I hate paragraphs.

Man, that was random! Hahaha. It amused my for x hours. Review?


End file.
